The gay man leading Canada's United Church

Life Links: Before the National Conference elected you Moderator in 2012, were you anxious that there would be a push back?

Rev. Gary Paterson: I had some apprehension that my being a gay person might be a significant factor in whether or not I would be chosen. On the other hand I knew that we had been wrestling and dealing with this issue for decades and primarily our church had come to a place of complete acceptance. The only question was whether people felt completely comfortable having their spiritual leader as being openly gay.

I was elected and there was general affirmation. In fact, I heard a story: two elected commissioners were talking to each other and said: ‘I didn’t know he was gay.’ At that point I was on stage with my spouse and we were having a celebratory hug. The other person turned and said: ‘Oh, that’s interesting!’ And that was the total conversation - which is to say that the big news in our denomination was that the election of an openly gay Moderator was not a news story in itself.

It was in my bio, it was certainly public information as I have been publicly out since 1993, within church circles and have served in many different ways. So everybody knew who I was. Most people knew that I was married. And people just said: This isn’t the issue we would base a decision on. It’s interesting, it certainly adds something to the complexity of who you are. But we are choosing someone who we think has the best gift for this point in time.

Why did you decide to come out?

I think the coming-out process is a step-by-step journey. In the 1980s I’d left my marriage and I came out as a gay person to myself personally, to a circle of friends and to my family. I came out to an ever-widening circle of people within family and within the church. And I finally arrived at what I call a “glass closet,” meaning most people knew and if anybody asked me any questions I responded with a full, truthful explanation and sharing of who I was.

But I decided I needed to make a more public statement so that it was out there and nobody would have to feel awkward about asking me questions. And in a sense for my own personal sense of integrity I felt I needed to be at peace with who I am and have a sense that within the church there would be an acceptance and a recognition of that and that it would enable in fact a richer and better ministry and more possibilities for conversation and dialogue.

You and your husband have marched in pride parades together in your clergy collar. How did people attending with you react?

It was constant support. First of all I would sometimes hear almost whispered surprise, people would say: ‘Look! Look!’ You could almost hear it, particularly because people might assume that I’m a Catholic priest. There would be no visual distinction between me wearing a black shirt and a white collar. But then there would be this outpouring of applause and affirmation.

I think members particularly of the gay and lesbian community or their supporters and families were absolutely delighted that a representative of the Christian church was marching. They would see it as a statement that gay and lesbian people are not somehow condemned, they are not sick sinners - they are in fact welcome children, brothers and sisters within the Christian community.

What do you think of other churches like the Catholic Church not accepting LGBT people?

Personally I am quite critical of that stand. I worry that often people are tempted to use theological and biblical work to justify an already existing social prejudice, so I want to continue the conversation and dialogue and try to understand why people hold that position and to see if by sharing my story, my experience and my insights - biblically and theologically - we can bring about some change. And I have had some really good experiences in that effort. I spent some time travelling in Colombia and Cuba and had very fruitful conversations simply sharing my insights. People then do with that what they will.

But I have also been in certain situations where people have not wanted to engage in that conversation or have been critical in their response. I would have people say: “We love the sinner but we hate the sin”. And I’ll say that’s a false dichotomy. Or they’ll say: “Please don’t take this personally.” And I say: “Well, in truth I do take it personally.”

Being a gay person is not the definitive characteristic of who I am - it’s one of many of my realities. But it is an essential part of me. And I know and am absolutely convinced that this is actually a gift and that God is pleased. I still face the same challenges as anybody does, to live that out responsibly and faithfully. And so I would be equally critical of heterosexual or homosexual persons in terms of lifestyle, and support responsible expression of sexuality, partnership and integrity.

I don’t get judgmental on people. But often I worry that an open lifestyle that moves towards promiscuity is one that damages your heart - and also of course has worrisome implications for physical health. I think that we are called to be in a committed relationship where we can flourish and be reassured and grow.

The membership numbers in the United Church of Canada have declined in the past years. One reason could be your reassuring position on homosexuals. Aren’t you harming your church by being that open-minded?

I would say not at all. When we made our decision in 1988 there were some people who left the United Church. But nowadays, you only have to look at a cross-section of churches that I would say are liberal-Protestant. All of them are struggling and wrestling with a decline in membership and finances. When we compare ourselves to Presbyterians or Anglicans in Canada, our statistics are stronger and better.

And even when you look across the border to the Southern Baptist denomination which is one of the largest and very conservative denominations in the US, they are also experiencing a decline in membership. So it seems to me to have very little to do with issues of justice or inclusion and much more to do with a change in social secularity and people saying we’re distrustful of institutions.

We’re spiritual but not religious. It has very little to do with one’s position on gay and lesbian issues. If anything over the last several years we might have experienced a net-plus in membership growth as people come to us and say: “I may not myself be lesbian or gay but I want to belong to a church that is inclusive and progressive and welcomes all people.”

In the next episode of Life Links, you'll meet gender-queer M, who has been refused ordination by the United Methodist Church. Watch the #forchristssake trailer here.