Manika Mishra Knyrim: Balancing Study and Motherhood

Manika originally wanted to go back and continue her work as a scientist, in Dehradun. She left her job and joined her husband in Göttingen where she now keeps busy alternating between her role as a mother and that of a Ph.D. student.

DW-WORLD: How do you feel as a South-Asian in Germany?

Manika Mishra: I am living here for the past 8 years and I am feeling okay…everything is okay for me.

What do you feel about your identity?

Basically I am a Bengali but I was brought up in North India, in Dehradun, and am now living in Göttingen, here in Germany. We do not have any Bengalis living in our area. But lots of other Indians are here and many mixed couples. So whenever I meet any Bengalis, I am very happy to speak with them.

What brought you to Germany?

I was a scientist at the Forest Research Institute in Dehradun. Through that job I got a scholarship from the DAAD and came here to Germany to do my M.Sc. in Forestry at the University of Göttingen. I stayed here from 1994 till 1996. At that time I came to know my husband who is a German. After finishing my course I went back to India and took up my job back there. I stayed there for two years and then we got married in India. I stayed in Dehradun another two years since I did not want to give up my job. But it was difficult for both of us, keeping up a long-distance relationship. So after our first child was born, I came back to Germany. That was eight years ago.

Do you still remember your initial days in Germany?

That was at the time when I came here to study, and I did not know a single word of German. Actually when I first came to Germany, I had no intention of residing here, since I was well-established in India. So I did not learn German in advance. The university made it possible for me to learn German at the Goethe Institute, where I started from nil. These days one can get away easily with English. But at that time it was very difficult. So I learnt it despite all the difficulties.

What was it like, doing an M.Sc. at a German university?

Initially it was very tough. Mostly because of the language. After six months I almost wanted to go back. But then I thought, I am a scientist. It would be very bad for my country if I would go back before finishing my course. So I did not give up. I continued studying and gave my best. At the end I also got good marks.

Tell me something about your experience as a foreign student here in Germany.

I was so busy with my studies that, at the beginning, I hardly had the time to make friends. Later, when I started speaking a bit of German, I came to know some people. Still it was tough being so isolated here in Germany. Then I came to know a group of Indians and that was very nice. We had our common problems like how to do the groceries from the supermarket, how to communicate with people. We were actually very lonely and did not know what to do in our free time. These days there is the internet and one can even watch original English movies. But all that was not available in those days.

What do you appreciate most about the Germans?

I have never had any negative experiences with the Germans and have never been discriminated against, though I’ve heard of some incidents from other people. In general, I found the Germans to be very orderly and punctual. They have their regulations and they obey them. The other thing about them which I really appreciate is that they are very honest and they do not hide anything. They have a culture of discussing things, if something happens they talk about it openly. In our culture, it is not like that. Even I tend to hide things, to hide my feelings. But they are not like that. That’s something I like.

What are your present preoccupations?

I started my Ph.D. in Botany when I came back after the birth of my first child. But I could not finish it because I got my second child. Now they are big enough, so I started my Ph.D. in Göttingen. But now I am doing it in Forestry.

Is it difficult to study and to be the mother of two children?

Yes, it is. I have to work on my thesis and take care of the kids at the same time. There are also kindergarten and day care centres. But the last two years I could not get a place for my children. So I had to work as an unpaid research scholar because if I’d received any financial help, I’d have had to work full time. For the past two years, I’ve been working half-time and looking after the children for the rest of the day. It is also important for me to spend time with them since I want them to know their mother tongue. I want them to be familiar with our culture. But this year I have applied for a full scholarship. My children are now eight and five, and I think I can work full time on my Ph.D. now.

But you are married to a German. Are your children being brought up as Germans or as Indians?

Well, I speak Bengali with them and they speak German with their father. So they are learning both languages simultaneously.

What do you want to do after your Ph.D.?

I do not know exactly. It is not very easy to enter academics here in Germany. I’d try to get a lectureship, or I might apply for a project. The problem is that I want to be in Göttingen since we have a house here and my husband is also working here. So I have to find something here. I had a very good job in India. I left it and started from zero. I was an officer. But now I am again a student. Now if I leave Göttingen, I’ll have to start all over again. I do not want to do that. The situation is difficult. I know I have to struggle for some more years. But then I believe in myself. I know it would have been better if I had had more time for my Ph.D. I could have finished it earlier. But I know what to do and when to do it. And I know that I’ll manage.