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Lip service

July 6, 2011

A person who lives 70 years, spends 110,000 minutes of his life kissing. This adds up to 76.4 days. July 6 marks International Kissing Day, an event which was supposedly introduced in 1990.

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Lipstick kiss on an evelope
Some kisses linger longer than othersImage: Fotolia

A kiss hasn't always been a kiss.

It might be hard to believe, but in 1950s Germany, public kissing was a social taboo. This was swiftly changed by pop culture and the media, Helmut Groschwitz, from Bonn University's department of cultural anthropology and ethnic studies, told Deutsche Welle.

Smooches on the screen

Groschwitz finds it particularly striking that fake, on-screen kisses "are able to change people's reception of public affection in real life." The first kiss shown in a cinema was screened back in 1896 in Thomas Edison's film, appropriately titled "The Kiss." This kiss kicked off a huge wave of discussion about intimacy in the media and even led to an - albeit short-lived - industry ban of movie kisses in the 1930s.

The movie kiss soon found its way back into living rooms and cinemas. And if you watch very closely, the way the lips meet in movies - or don't - can reveal some basic cultural differences. In some cases, you could tell where a film is from just by watching the kissing scenes.

A man and women kissing
There's more to kissing than being in loveImage: BilderBox

The Indian film industry, for instance, is said to be rather prudish, according to Helmut Groschwitz. In a typical romantic comedy in the West, "the kiss seals the Happy End and shows that everything is going well," explained Groschwitz, whereas "in Bollywood, lots of times the whole movie is about the hero desiring to kiss the heroine in the end - but it never happens."

The Bollywood kiss is treated as a longing that can never be fulfilled because "as soon as they start approaching each other's mouths, four hundred dancers appear in the background and everyone has to start dancing," added the university lecturer. That approach would have turned "Pretty Woman" into a completely different movie, wouldn't it?

French kisses

Kissing someone always requires breaking into another person's zone of intimacy - and how much effort this requires depends largely on the culture. While the French often greet strangers with a kiss on the cheek (or three kisses, actually), preparing for a peck during an introduction could create quite an awkward moment in Germany.

Probably the best advice for travelers in this matter would be: When in France, do as the French do. And when not in France - well, better to take your cues from the locals and wait to be kissed.

"Usually the distance is smaller in South America or in southern European countries like Spain or Portugal than in our German culture," commented Groschwitz.

Paul Watzlawick, famous Austrian-American psychologist and philosopher, mentions a suitable example in his book "How Real is Real?" He explains how, during the Second World War, many US soldiers were stationed in England and this enabled researchers to observe and analyze the ensuing cultural interactions.

A matter of timing

Among other things, it was investigated how the US soldiers treated the English girls. Some of the English girls complained that the Americans were very direct, tactless and brisk, but the soldiers came up with the opposite description for the women, calling them easy and shameless.

A portion of the East Side Gallery, showing the brotherly kiss between Erich Honecker and Mikhail Gorbachev
The socialist kiss is enshrined on the East Side Gallery in BerlinImage: picture-alliance/ dpa

When looking deeper into the problem, researchers found that there are about 30 steps in both cultures when it comes to getting close with someone - from the very first eye contact to sexual intercourse. The only difference between the Brits and the Americans in this case was the order in which the steps occurred.

While for the English, the kiss happened just prior to sex, it was normal for the Americans to exchange kisses at a much earlier stage. Therefore, when the US soldier thought it was time to let the lips work, the British girl was put in the dilemma of either running away or almost immediately taking her clothes off.

"This story is a perfect example for intercultural misunderstandings when it comes to kissing," said Groschwitz. However, in his opinion, the differences are not that serious any more, in particular due to globalization.

Communicate with a kiss

A kiss can have several meanings to it. While it is stereotypically associated with tenderness, intimacy, eroticism, and love, said Groschwitz, a kiss can also infer humility, submission or even betrayal - like the Judas Kiss.

"When a priest has to kiss a bishop's ring for example, he shows his inferiority," explained Groschwitz. This also holds true for other cultures. The Orthodox Bulgarians, for instance, kiss icons in their churches as a sign of piety.

Another signal a kiss can send is the political message. The most iconic example of our time was the 1989 smacker between Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev and East German leader Erich Honecker. It symbolized their political bond and affiliation - just one month before the Berlin Wall came down.

It's generally not a good idea to disagree with a genius, but - just once - Frank Sinatra was wrong when he sang, "You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss." This does certainly not do justice to all the different kinds of kisses, pecks, smooches and hickeys which have been practiced all over the world for centuries. Grab your spouse, child, pet, colleague or mailman and celebrate International Kissing Day.

Author: Annika Witzel

Editor: Kate Bowen