Hertha, Dortmund Top List of Bundesliga Flops

The strike farce

Hertha Berlin fans are used to commercial manager Dieter Hoeneß spending vast sums on star strikers in Brazil, who then prove utterly unsuitable to the Bundesliga's more physical style of play. This year's model is called Andre Lima. The pay-out: 3.5 million euros ($5 million). The pay-off: one goal.

At first glance, Nelson Valdez's two goals for Dortmund don't seem that bad -- he only had one in all of last season. But both of this year's strikes were meaningless score-line fillers in matches whose outcomes had already been decided. Week in, week out Valdez has proved remarkably inventive at finding ways to miss open shots -- he may soon need to be equally ingenious about finding a new club.

Dishonorable mentions: Ailton (Duisburg), Victor Agali (Rostock)

The malignant midfield

Oh dear, Schweini's been off form, too

Bayern's Bastian Schweinsteiger is still considered one of Germany's young stars, but that could change. He's bagged just one goal this season, and what's worse is that he's been almost invisible on the pitch. It may be that Schweini is still suffering the after-effects of being bitten by a tick this summer.

You can't really argue with anything Bremen's Carlos Alberto has done on the pitch because he's only spent roughly 45 minutes on it. The most expensive signing in club history at 7.8 million euros, the Brazilian came down with a recurring case of insomnia, deemed himself unfit and has only played twice as a late substitute in the league. Had he performed even remotely as well as expected -- heck, if he'd at least shown up regularly -- Bremen might well be at the top of the table.

Hertha's Gilberto is a Brazilian international, but you wouldn't know it from his performances this season for Berlin. He's tallied a meager one goal and two assists, and in December he announced that he was "too physically exhausted" to crank his game up to its best. Not what Hertha were hoping from a veteran who was supposed to lead a young squad by example.

Schalke were praying that Uruguayan Carlos Grossmüller would provide enough offense to finally put them over the top for a Bundesliga title. But he's failed even to crack their starting line-up. He did, however, make something of a mark, becoming the first Bundesliga player ever to be suspended for getting involved in a fight while on the bench. He's currently serving a five-game ban.

Dishonorable mentions: Yildiray Bastürk (Stuttgart) Jan Rosenthal (Hanover), Stanislav Angelov (Cottbus)

The dire defense

Bielefeld's back four have adopted a stand back and admire approach

With 38 goals conceded, and 8-1 and 6-1 defeats at the hands of Bremen and Dortmund respectively, Bielefeld are the defensive jokes of the league. With a team this poor at the back, it would be unfair to single out anyone in particular, so we'll just reserve two spots in our Hall of Shame for anyone who played in Bielefeld's interior defense. The names changed -- the results rarely did.

The other two spots in our porous back four go to a pair of not-so-golden oldies from Dortmund: Robert Kovac and Christian Wörns. Kovac's career includes successful spells at Juventus and Bayern, but at the age of 33, he looks clearly past his sell-by date and landed on the bench in December.

The 35-year-old Wörns -- long a member of the German national team -- could join him on the sidelines in 2008. Always known for his physical play, Wörns' game now consists largely of clutching desperately at where strikers used to be, then watching as the keeper retrieves the ball form the back of the net.

Dishonorable mentions: Sofian Chahed (Hertha Berlin), Vragel da Silva (Cottbus), Michael Beauchamp (Nuremberg)

Number one no more

Jentzsch has bottomed out with Wolfsburg

Wolfsburg gave Simon Jentzsch a contract extension before this season in recognition of his status as one of Germany's most underrated keepers. They probably wish they hadn't, as Jentzsch seems to have has lost his sense for how to deal with most penalty area situations. The result: Wolfburg conceded 30 goals, and their undisputed number 1 at the start of the season was benched in December.

Dishonorable mentions: Rafael Schäfer (Stuttgart), Roman Weidenfeller (Dortmund)